


Color Me Surprised

by Wheezefeeds



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Friends to Lovers, Hair color au, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2017-11-15
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:13:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8734474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheezefeeds/pseuds/Wheezefeeds
Summary: Jeremy's hair color changes based on his emotions, and Ryan is more than a little intrigued.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So uh, I was hit forcefully with the desire to write this when I saw a post on tumblr about it. You can find that [here](http://samijen.tumblr.com/post/153872142481/imgayfordavid-thenewtboyinthecity). Please look at it, it's so pretty.  
> I did expand upon the initial idea though, and added some colors of my own.
> 
> Also, I feel the need to mention that both Jeremy and Ryan are unmarried and unattached in this fic. No cheating here!  
> But basically this is very self-indulgent, and I hope you enjoy it, even a little bit c:

Ryan had never met someone like Jeremy before. He didn't mean that in terms of personality either, although he supposed that the other man could be considered unique in that aspect as well. No, Jeremy Dooely was far more special in ways that were previously unheard of.

The first time they'd met, and his hair had been a bright green, Ryan had just assumed the man had liked the color enough to dye the strands in that hue. But, as they talked more and the vibrant, neon color had settled into something more natural, he became confused. When someone practically ran into the man as he had been standing there, and Jeremy's hair flashed dull red at the tips for a moment, Ryan's eyes had widened in shock.

He was saved from having to figure out a way to ask and not sound crazy though, because Jeremy shrugged it off with a knowing smile. "Oh, Yeah, the hair? It does that," he hummed in explanation, and Ryan took it as it was, not digging any deeper. It was the first time they'd met, after all.

It was later, in their second meeting, that Ryan noticed the hair had become a subdued green, almost barely noticeable. He still didn't exactly understand what made it change, but he took the fact that it was still green to mean something. Jeremy was a prominent member of the community, but they didn't meet in person too often. When they did though, Ryan tried to make sure he took the time to notice the man's hair color. Usually it was the green he was used to, although occasionally it would brighten into the neon it'd been upon their first meeting. On one memorable occasion, upon Gavin tossing something at him unexpectedly, the hue had bleed into a dark purple, before reverting to a deep green once again as he laughed at the scare.

Ryan took note of these changes, and in fact, relished in them. He realized that it probably would make him sound obsessed if he admitted to that out loud.

His new obsession was fueled though, when Achievement Hunter took the man on as an official new hire to work in the main office. Now, Ryan saw him multiple hours each day. The best part though, was that he finally got the explanation he'd been so unsuccessful in discovering on his own.

"It changes with my emotions," he'd said. "Green is happy, red's mad. Pretty self explanatory. Please don't use it to exploit me, alright?" But he said it all with a grin, and hair as bright as a sunny meadow's grass. Ryan could practically feel the joy seeping off of him, even without having to look at the color. 

Their short conversations and meetings in the past couldn't hold a candle to how often, and how closely he saw Jeremy now. He had the opportunity to see drastic changes in the man's hair, rather than a change in tint here or there. He witnessed blinding reds as the younger's capture quit unexpectedly, and the bright violet that momentarily blinded those nearby whenever a horror game's jumpscare popped up. Honestly, it was all rather fascinating. Some changes only lasted for a few moments, like the bright purple, but others muddled and grew, taking over the usual shade of green. 

Ryan liked to believe that they were following the man's wishes, and weren't using his hair as some sort of tool, but honestly, it was difficult not to. Gavin learned not to push the man any further in his teasing or jokes when a bright red of true anger began to bloom. Michael was often the first to ask what good thing had happened that day when the green was unusually neon in it's hue. 

And Ryan? Well, he found that he took notice of the changes most of all. A muted maroon of irritation prompted him to ask if he could get Jeremy anything. Orange taught him to leave the man in peace, as whatever he was looking at was intriguing enough to pull him into a deep fascination. 

It wasn't that the others in the office didn't know what all the colors meant. They just didn't seem to pay the small changes as much mind as Ryan did. They only took notice of the colors that completely overtook the hair, not the subtle shifts at the tips that indicated a slight change in mood.

Ryan appreciated the small things best. He loved walking into the office and seeing that a bit of yellow was adding a glow to the usual dark green. _'Jeremy's energetic today'_ he'd think to himself, and would promptly try to find out if there would be time to film something that involved movement that day. 

He'd realized long ago that he'd fallen into a deep fascination with the younger man, but he never put much thought into it. What was the harm in it, when he was only using his knowledge of Jeremy's moods to try and appease him?

But, maybe that _was_ the problem. Everyone else had seemed to take his initial words on the matter to heart, and didn't pay much mind to the color shifts. Ryan couldn't understand that. It was something so unique and special, something that made Jeremy so... _Jeremy_. How could he not pay them any mind?

~~~~~~~~

The movie was absolutely horrible. But, then again, most of the things they watched for Theater Mode were not that great. 

"It's just porn again! Gay porn. They're gonna start rubbing their dicks together!"

Ryan's chuckle at Geoff's outburst was dry, mostly fake humor for the show, and he just shook his head. Jeremy, for his part, was burrowing down on the back couch like he was trying to get away from it, a dark purple, tinted red at the tips coloring his hair. Well, obviously he wasn't very pleased with the scene. Ryan couldn't really say that he was either, but before he could say anything, the younger man gave his own opinion.

"Sex doesn't even work like that! Where's the damn lube?"

"The lighting's bad, maybe they're trying to start a fire?" Ryan suggested with a shrug before bringing his hands up and rubbing them together as he continued, "You know, like rubbing two sticks together?" That, at the very least, earned him a laugh from the both of them, and he grinned in response.

"Jeremy?" Geoff began suddenly, in that voice of his that usually meant he was going to ask a rather personal genitalia question. In the background, the horrible sex scene continued, but Ryan had put his focus off of it for now. 

"If you had to do this scene with a guy, would you?"

Ryan made a face at that. "Eugh, but this is awful. Don't subject someone to playing this scene out. It's not hot at all,"

"Yeah, you're definitely not wrong. But uh, what's my reasoning here, Geoff? Am I getting paid?" Ryan took notice of the fact that the purple had bled into a dark brown. He obviously wasn't paying enough attention to the movie to have any reactions to it. The only other color was a bit of orange at the ends, showing that he _was_ a bit interested in the question.

"Hmm," the man hummed for a moment, thoughtfully. "Sure. 10k."

"Whoa," Ryan exclaimed, a bit surprised. "That's a little low for a million dollars but questions, isn't it?"

"It's not million dollars but, Ryan. I just wanna know if he'll do it for that amount," he said, before glancing at Jeremy. "So?"

The man made a small noise at the back of his throat, like he was thinking hard about it. "Can I bring lube?" he eventually asked.

"Yeah, sure. The rest is the same, though."

"I guess so then, yeah," he said with a small shrug, although Ryan noticed that his hair had lightened into a grey. That was a rarer one. What did it mean again? Nervousness? 

He couldn't deny that he was a little surprised the man had accepted the faux deal, but then, he didn't know a lot about Jeremy's preferences either. Ryan wouldn't admit it out loud, but with a guy of his choosing, he wouldn't much mind acting out the scene either. It was bad, sure, but 10k was a lot for just some sex.

Geoff, thankfully, let the subject drop quite suddenly as things took a turn for the worse on the movie screen. Jeremy looked relieved, and slowly the color faded back to brown.


	2. Chapter 2

"Fuck me!" were the first words Ryan heard as he walked into the office the next day, and his eyes were greeted by the sight of a very frustrated Jeremy with a fire atop his head.

"Oh, Ryan's here. Ryan! Come fix Jeremy's stuff," Gavin called, and he went over towards the two of them, looking over their shoulders at the computer they were sat in front of. "It crashed or something."

He looked over to Jeremy, who nodded in agreement with a sigh that sounded like it was meant to be calming. "I was exporting some stuff overnight, and it fucking crashed in the middle of it all. I've been trying to figure out what's wrong with the damn thing, but it just crashed _again_."

He leaned over the man's shoulder, waiting there for the computer to finish starting up for what was apparently the second time that day. When it did, he fiddled with the settings, occasionally instructing Jeremy to hit a button on the keyboard that he couldn't reach. Finally, he stood back up straight with a small smile. "Hopefully that works," he hummed.

Jeremy wore a grin on his face as he spun around in his chair. The red in his hair had faded and become almost nonexistent, and a bit of green was beginning to seep back in from the tips. "Thank you, Ryan," he said, and the older man couldn't help but to be pleased that he'd managed to improve his mood. He replied wordlessly, just nodding instead, and walked over to his own desk. Luckily, it seemed that all of his things had remained in order overnight.

"Ryan! Jeremy!" called Michael as he walked in a few moments later. "You're on Off Topic today, remember?"

"Yeah, of course," The other man said with a nod, his attention mainly focused on the screen in front of him. 

"Good. And you too, Boi," he continued, at which Gavin replied with an eager shake of his head and a bright grin.

The day passed with relative ease. Both Geoff and Jack were away at the opposite end of the country, so the remaining Achievement Hunters were left to film videos in smaller groups before heading off to the podcast set.

Ryan watched as Jeremy pulled a beanie over his head, tugging it down so that it fit snug. It wasn't really a secret that his hair changed colors. The man had never really kept quiet about it, and anyone who watched a decent amount of their videos might know, especially since they used facecams so often now. But, in situations where he would be live on camera for multiple hours, Jeremy liked to keep it covered. There was something unnerving, the older man supposed, about having your true emotions revealed and not being able to hide them.

They began with a beautifully unplanned show of Gavin breaking the beer tap again, and Ryan watched with a grin as both Michael and Jeremy struggled to contain laughter.

"How the hell do you keep doing that?" they both asked, and the oldest man watched with an easy smile. He found that he was often a little bit detached from moments like this, observing rather than participating. He liked it better this way anyway, as he was able to best see the reactions pulled out of the others, especially Jeremy. Although, he could only see the man's face now. And, while it was no less expressive than his hair, Ryan couldn't deny that he liked to see the change in colors.

"So Ryan totally saved Jeremy's life today," Gavin spoke up, and the words pulled the man's attention back to the conversation.

"Well, to be more accurate, he saved my mind from breaking down. I was so mad."

"Yeah, your computer fucked up," Ryan agreed with a nod, fiddling absentmindedly with the soda can sitting in front of him.

"Sure did," Jeremy hummed, although a slight hint of annoyance could be heard in his tone.

"Oh, Jeremy's computer was fucking up? When? This morning?" Michael prodded curiously.

"Before you got here it kept crashing on me. Of course, then Ryan walks in and fixes it immediately."

"The PC guy came to the rescue," Michael laughed, bringing up that old moniker. 

"Ryan, if my computer breaks, will you fix it for me?" Gavin asked teasingly, batting his eyelashes like he was trying to be cute. As if that would work.

The man huffed, shaking his head with a small grin. "I guess? But his computer wasn't even broken in the first place. But sure, Gavin. I'll try my best."

"You're turning into a genuine superhero now," Michael laughed.

"All he needs is someone to swoon over him after he saves them," Jeremy added in with a nod of agreement.

"But that's you, Lil J. You're the one he saved!"

"Is Jeremy Swooning?" Gavin questioned, while Ryan simply chuckled quietly, taking a sip of his diet coke so he wouldn't have to add input into the conversation.

"Oh yeah, I'm head over heels for him," the man said with a laugh, but it made Ryan pause, because he didn't really sound like he was joking. While he assumed that that was all it was, his mind couldn't seem to ignore the fact that the tone when he spoke sounded somewhat _genuine_. Now he was just wishing they weren't in the middle of a podcast where he couldn't see the hair color Jeremy was currently sporting. He felt as if he was acting like a love struck fool.

He managed a simple reply of "I'm flattered," before the conversation slowly shifted to a completely different topic. 

Their talks flowed easily for the few hours that they recorded, and tapered off naturally towards the end of the podcast. Ryan was never sure if that was skill or practice, but he was thankful for it anyway. He'd developed a bit of a headache, and the only thing he really _wanted_ to do at the moment was go back to the office and sit quietly to work at his desk.

He stood once the cameras had been cut off, lightly crushing the empty can that he held in his hand and tossing it to the trash. It went in with a light clink, and Jeremy, the only other person close enough to be paying attention, congratulated him with a quiet "Nice."

"Thanks," he murmured in reply, to which the other man frowned slightly.

"You alright, Ryan?" he asked.

He flashed a light smile in return, not wanting the other to feel concerned. He'd just been talking for a while, and he tended to quiet down a bit if his head hurt. "It's nothing. A headache."

The worried expression left the man's face, although not completely. Ryan could still see some of it beneath the smile that took over. It made him feel a bit better, at the very least, to know that Jeremy thought about his well being. 

"Don't worry about it too much. I just need some Tylenol," he said reassuringly with an honest grin. It really wasn't anything that warranted such concern, although he was grateful for it nonetheless. 

The other man nodded, and they walked in a comfortable silence back to the office, leaving Michael and Gavin standing next to the podcast set, talking with Steffie about something that they couldn't quite catch to hear.

"So hopefully my computer survived me being gone for a couple of hours," Jeremy said rather suddenly, with a quiet huff.

In response, Ryan scoffed. "Who do ya' think you're talking to?" he began to tease. "The PC Guy fixed it for you. Of course it'll still work."

Jeremy laughed. "Now, don't get ahead of yourself, Ryan."

"What? I thought you were supposed to be swooning about me? Hanging on my every word and having complete faith in my abilities to fix any computer?"

"You're really milking it now, buddy," Jeremy muttered, to which the older man laughed loudly, despite the ache in his head. 

"Alright, alright. But, really, I'm pretty sure it'll still be working. Maybe."

"The superhero doesn't sound too confident."

"Being overconfident tends to be the bane of most heroes and villains," Ryan hummed.

"Then I guess someone will have to make sure you'll stay in line."

"Who'll that be? You?"

"Huh? Me?" Jeremy asked, a bit quickly. "Can't be me. You'll be saving me, right? That'll only boost your ego." As he spoke, he wore a grin, easily readable as something of a teasing nature, but Ryan could hear a bit of nervousness in his tone. Suddenly, he really wished that the hat was gone. What color would his hair be? Would it be grey, like during that godawful sex scene on Theater Mode yesterday? 

"Well, that wouldn't be too bad," Ryan said quietly with a shrug, pushing open the door to the office and walking in, Jeremy following directly behind him.

"Not for you," the man replied with a chuckle, and Ryan looked back at him in time to see him finally pulling off the beanie. His hair was it's usual dark green hue, but there was a slight tint of grey at the ends, which was definitely not something normally seen. What was making him nervous now? Ryan didn't ask about it, though. He might base his actions around the colors he saw, but he tried to not outright bring them up. That seemed like too large an invasion of privacy. 

"My ego will always be adequately sized," he hummed, walking across the room to his desk and practically collapsing in his chair with a quiet sigh. Already his head was becoming less pained as he was allowed a bit of a chance to relax. 

He heard Jeremy laugh at his words, and the sound made him grin. "Oh, I'm sure."

After that, they quieted into an easy silence, attending to their individual work for the day. When Michael and Gavin walked back in, around ten minutes later, they did the same, and the office worked peacefully until the end of the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done! As usual, all mistakes are my own!  
> Thank you for reading  
> <33


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, I updated this a little later than planned so I apologize.  
>  But, I also had a lot of fun writing this chapter, so I hope you enjoy reading it!

Jeremy wasn't usually the type of person who minded silence while at work. They talked almost continuously for multiple hours every day, so any little break in between filming was actually always welcomed with open arms. 

Needless to say, he could understand why Ryan might have a headache after a live podcast. However, that didn't stop him from feeling concerned for the man. He much preferred when they could talk and jeer as loud as they pleased, and Ryan wore a wide grin to show how much he truly enjoyed it. 

With a huff, he pulled up the hood of his sweatshirt, tightening the strings just enough to where it wouldn't slide off his head with the slightest movement. Jeremy would much rather the others didn't notice the mix of lilac and grey that he caught a glimpse of from his reflection in the monitor. 

He was worried, and while there was nothing wrong with that, he didn't want anyone asking any questions.

Well, there actually weren't many people around who paid attention to the little nuances of his hair color. Only Ryan seemed to notice the subtle shifts, and act according to each one. Unfortunately though, he was the one causing the change at the moment, and if he saw, then he would certainly want to do something about it. 

To be truthful, Jeremy hadn't really noticed it at first. It was obvious to tell if someone was avoiding a certain subject because it had previously made his hair blaze red. But, it was more difficult when the action was as slight as Ryan continuing to run his mouth about something because a slight orange had overtaken the strands.

But now that he'd seen it, Jeremy couldn't seem to stop. And he was _astonished_ about how much he had apparently been missing, just because he wasn't paying attention enough. And what was even more amazing, was how much he _craved_ seeing those little acts. He couldn't do anything about his emotions, of course, but he'd never been more grateful to be human with a heart at the mercy of his surroundings.

It was just that Ryan was incredibly kind. Even more so off camera than on. That is, when he wasn't playing the part of some madman. The fact that he'd take time out of his day, or switch up his routine just because of a silly emotion seemed crazy, but maybe that was just because nobody had ever done it before.

It had always seemed in the past that people would use Jeremy's hair to their own benefit, rather than his. They'd talk cautiously whenever he was angry, and even more so when he was sad. They'd offer generic, sympathetic words that held no real emotion, and he'd long since learned that they were only spoken as a safeguard; they could say 'hey, I tried,' if his mood didn't improve. 

He supposed that he was thankful he didn't shift to blue too often. In fact, he didn't think that color had overtaken his head since before he began working for Achievement Hunter. Jeremy didn't think he could take it if Ryan saw him that way.

What would the man do? Would he be just the same as everyone else, unable to deal with that rare change? 

He was a bit frightened to find out. At least he was pleased with his life at the moment. It didn't seem like something he would have to deal with anytime soon. 

But, then again, emotions were always unpredictable. 

"Jeremy?" came a quieter than usual voice from the other side of the room. Ryan's headache must not have completely left yet. "Is your computer still working? Everything look okay?"

He looked up from the screen to meet the man's eyes, and he didn't miss the strange expression Ryan was wearing, although everyone else probably would have. He knew that wearing his hoodie up was a bit strange, since he usually didn't bother in the office, but he ignored the gaze's meaning in favor of answering the actual question posed to him, rather than the silent one.

"It's great. Thanks for fixing it, Ryan," he said with a genuine grin, and that seemed enough to make the man nod, smiling back slightly before looking down at his own work once again. 

He sighed to himself, reaching one hand up to tug at the fabric over his head, making sure it remained in place. Ryan cared too much, the bastard. 

A loud clang drew his attention to his right, and he looked to see Gavin fiddling around with the mess on his desk, and a controller now resting on the floor behind him.

"What the hell, man?" Michael spoke first, asking what Jeremy was sure they were all wondering. 

"Leaned too far back in the damn chair," the man muttered, spinning around to grab what he'd apparently dropped as he saved himself from falling backwards. Well, it was his own fault for leaning back in a chair with wheels, and Jeremy scoffed a laugh at the thought.

"Are we filming anything today?" Michael asked in an effort to change the subject, after letting out a long suffering sigh that was surely directed towards the man on his right. 

"Not much to do in GTA or Minecraft without Geoff or Jack," Ryan hummed. 

"We could do VR the Champions or something," Gavin suggested, but Jeremy shook his head.

"We don't have any games right now that we haven't already done a video in," and at Ryan's agreement on that matter, he continued, "We should do something new if we're gonna through with setting that shit up." 

While that was a large factor in his not wanting to film a VR game, Jeremy couldn't deny the fact that he was also still concerned about Ryan's headache. Something fun and more laid back would be easier on him, rather than having to stand and move around. Besides, a lot of the fans ate up those types of casual videos. "Let's just do something easy and fun, where we can just fuck around," he finished.

The were thoughtful noises from around the room as the others considered their options, and Michael actually opened up Steam to look through his games list. "Fun and easy, fun and easy," the man muttered to himself as he scrolled. And then, a victorious chuckle. "Ah, what about we golf with our friends? We're friends, right?" he laughed.

"I would assume so," Ryan replied dryly, although if Jeremy looked around his monitor just right, he could see a little smile of amusement tugging at the man's lips that betrayed his tone. 

"Well, we could film something in that? I mean, I'm sure we can pull something entertaining out of our asses for a video," Michael hummed with a scoff.

"Yeah, I'm fine with that," Jeremy agreed quickly, and as the other two did the same, they all began setting up to film. 

"How's your head, Ryan?" he asked the man after a few minutes, when he stood up to do some adjustments to his mic stand.

Glancing over only once as he fiddled around with his microphone, the man gave a short nod. "It's better. Although, I'm still glad I don't have to stand around in that hot as hell headset." And, when he finally stood up straight again, the smile he gave looked so much like a thank you that Jeremy couldn't help but to offer his own grin in reply.

"Facecams or not?" Gavin questioned the room then, and they all paused for a moment before shrugging. 

"I don't think we need to," Michael said, and Ryan agreed with a "Nah," and a shake of his head. 

"Alright," the British man said, leaning back in his chair. "Then I'm ready."

"Yup, same here," Jeremy agreed, starting his audio and capture and then syncing before they stated the video as officially started.

"So uh, what kind of video is this? Are we just golfin' like friends, or is there gonna be some sort of competition here?" Ryan questioned as they looked through the game's setting, choosing the course number, and their golf balls.

"Oh, there's always competition in golf, Ryan," Michael said with a little breath of laughter. 

"Alright, that's true, I guess. Any particularly _special_ rules, then?"

"Losers each give the winner ten bucks," Gavin suggested instantly.

"You wanna lose ten bucks that bad?" Jeremy teased, which earned him a chuckle from all of them. 

"Eh, it's just ten bucks," the man said with a shrug, although that wouldn't be picked up by his audio recording. 

"How about last place buys lunch tomorrow?" Michael suggested instead, ignoring Gavin's words as the first hole loaded up and they began aiming their shots. It was a relatively simple one, so it only took one hit to get close to the hole.

"Can they choose where to go?" Jeremy asked, easily following along with what he knew wouldn't come to fruition. It was one thing to accept a bet of two dollars from Gavin, but forking over the cost of lunch for four was going a little far.

"As long as it's somewhere good," Michael laughed.

"Deal," Ryan agreed after only a second's thought, and Jeremy looked at him in surprise.

"Seriously?" He asked, eyebrows raised, ignoring the game for just a moment. "You'll really buy the three of us lunch if you lose?"

"I might not lose."

"Ryan," Michael said with another laugh. "Remember 3D Ultra Mini Golf? You lost pretty fucking badly there."

"Listen, the one round fucked me, alright? I think I did okay in the other parts," he replied in a jesting affronted tone.

"This is only one round. If you lose you lose," Jeremy cut in to remind him. 

"Oh, I know. I'm agreeing to the terms. Lunch is on me tomorrow, for those in this room right now, if I lose."

"Well, fine. I guess I'll agree too, if Ryan and Michael do," Jeremy muttered as he finally looked back to his screen. it appeared as though he was the last to take the final shot, and he sunk the ball in with one hit.

"Well, we're all tied at par with that hole. I'll fucking do it," Michael said. "So, Gav, are you in?"

"Yeah, I mean, chances are, I'll get a free lunch."

"Or you'll just fucking lose horribly," Jeremy laughed.

"Or that," the man murmured, sounding mildly worried.

"Well boys," Jeremy declared suddenly, "We've got ourselves a competition." And then, they began seriously, and put in as much effort as possible while still being sure that the video would be entertaining once it came out. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan couldn't exactly say that he was surprised to find himself sitting in last after their decided eight holes, with a wonderful score of +19. He'd certainly done worse in less time before, yet he still managed to lose to the others this round.

Though, he also couldn't say that he was upset. After all, he'd been the first to agree to buy lunch, so having to do so wasn't really a problem. In fact, it was almost the opposite.

"So what are we having to eat tomorrow, Ryan?" Gavin asked with a wide grin once the recordings were all stopped and saved, ready to go for editing.

As if in thought, he hummed for a moment, but never really had any plans to chose the place he'd be buying from in the first place. "Jeremy, what do you want for lunch tomorrow?"

"Huh?" the man looked up, confusion clear across his face. Ryan smiled lightly at the sight. That was exactly what he wanted. "You're asking me? You get to choose, y'know."

"Yeah, but I don't wanna. Pick for me, Lil J."

A bright green could just barely be seen as it bloomed underneath the man's hoodie, and Ryan caught sight of a bit peeking out from the front, the color vibrantly noticeable. Jeremy was silent for a while, obviously thinking over the question he'd been posed. Eventually, he looked back towards Ryan. "Torchy's," he said with a sure tone.

"Tacos it is then," he agreed with a nod, and Jeremy looked almost pleased enough to melt, although unfortunately, he didn't stay still quite long enough for Ryan to truly see the emotions cross his face.

He liked doing things that made the man happy, and kept his hair the positive colors that showed he was in a good mood. Little acts like this - asking him what he would like to eat, for one example - were simple and easy, and Ryan had never minded doing them, if only to see Jeremy so pleased. 

"Good choice, Jeremy," Michael applauded the man, and he received quiet thanks in reply. 

In a good mood, despite his loss in the game and the impending doom that awaited his wallet, Ryan joined the other three in finishing up for the day before they all left the office to head home. Tomorrow he'd keep his promise and buy Torchy's for Michael, Gavin, and Jeremy, but the thought running through his mind was that he was really only doing this for one of those men. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who took far too long to post this? It was me. All the apologies. I have no excuse :'/ Thank you though, if you waited for me!  
> On the bright side, this chapter dramatically increased the wordcount, so that makes up for it?... Right?
> 
> Please let me know if you enjoyed this, and hopefully the wait for next chapter won't be so awful! c:

Ryan was disastrously late to work the next day, and his drive to the office was more stressful than he generally preferred his mornings to be. A faulty alarm had been the cause, and while Achievement Hunter was generally lenient in terms of arrival time, he still liked to be a good, punctual employee.

The office was quiet when he entered, so his arrival didn't go unnoticed. "Oh, it's Ryan!" Gavin, who was closest to the door, announced.

"Hey, man," Michael laughed. "We almost thought you weren't going to show. You have a debt to pay, y'know."  

Ryan chuckled, shaking his head as he walked around the desks, on the way to his own. "Nah, I got here eventually. Lunch is still a ways away," he hummed, pulling out his wallet and gently waving it once or twice in show. 

Jeremy looked up from his computer then, curiosity in his gaze. "What kept you? You're usually on time."

"I was up kinda late last night, and then this morning my alarm got fucked so I woke up late," he explained with a minute frown. The others in the room nodded in understanding. It happened to everyone at some point or another, after all. Jeremy, at least, had gotten a satisfactory answer, for his curiosity had died down and his hair was back to brown. 

The room was mostly quiet as Ryan got settled at his desk, but it wasn't long before Gavin and Michael disappeared into the streaming room to film a play pals together. That left him alone with Jeremy which, really, wasn't much of a problem at all. 

"Hey, Jeremy," he said, looking over his monitor at the other man as he attempted to get his attention.

"What's up, Ryan?" he replied, showing that he was paying attention, even though he had barely glanced up from his own screen. Not deterred, Ryan continued. 

"Do you want to film something together, since Gavin and Michael will be busy for a while with play pals?" he asked. 

That certainly caught the man's attention completely, and Jeremy looked up; eyes wide and hair a strange mix of purple and green. He'd been surprised by the question then, but at least seemed to be pleased. "Like, our own version?"

"Yeah, I mean, we can fuck around in some random game too," Ryan said with a small laugh. 

Practically beaming, the man nodded then. "Let's do it!"

That had been the answer he was looking for. They never did videos together without most of the other guys there as well, and Ryan was almost always looking for a chance to simply talk with Jeremy. Unfortunately, it rarely ever happened, so he tended to jump at any available opportunity. 

Selecting a game was actually always one of the most difficult parts. Jeremy wanted to play something they hadn't before, but Ryan made sure to insist on it being something entertaining to play _and_ watch. Eventually, after looking through Steam, they selected some random two player horror game that had recently come out. To be honest, it didn't look like it would be all that scary, but if it wasn't, at least the attempt would turn out to be humorous.

They downloaded and started up the game on Ryan's machine, and sat together in front of the monitor, Jeremy with a controller and Ryan using his keyboard. They began the recording with small grins on their faces.

"Okay, so, are we gonna call this something special?" Jeremy asked, looking through the menu options. He threw on the subtitles as Ryan hummed in thought.

"Game Guys?" he suggested with a chuckle in an attempt to think of something that was along the same vein as Play Pals.

"That doesn't make us sound like buddies."

"Uh, Good Friend Gamers?" 

That earned him a loud laugh in response, and he couldn't help but to grin happily. "Sure, man. Good Friend Gamers is our new working title."

"To be edited and perfected later," Ryan agreed as they finally started the actual game. 

It was, as predicted, not really that scary at all. Nothing more than suspense and the occasional jumpscare. It did make for an interesting video, though. They had turned on facecams, as per the usual for all horror games, and although Jeremy's slight worry didn't show on his face often, it could be seen through the lilac of his hair. 

Ryan chuckled about it quietly to himself and didn't bring it up in any conversation. It might not even register on the camera anyway, since the lights were off in order to complete the spooky atmosphere.

"So are you excited for lunch today, Jeremy?" he asked with a grin as they moved their characters down a dark, eerie looking street.

"You mean, am I excited to eat tacos and not pay for them? Hell yes," the man replied with a laugh. "Why'd you agree to that stupid bet anyway though? We're gonna burn a hole in your wallet."

"Nah, it won't be that bad," Ryan hummed. "And I wanted to. It made the game more fun anyway, didn't it?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow. 

"Well, I guess so? But still, I don't get why you agreed so easily."

"I wanted to," Ryan repeated, not saying any more than that. Honestly, he didn't have any other explanation. While it had only been Jeremy he'd really wanted to do it for, buying lunch for Michael and Gavin wasn't too bad of a side effect. They were both his friends, and he didn't mind too much. It was worth it, he thought, if it meant that Jeremy would smile bright enough to match his green hair.

A small jumpscare made them both jolt slightly in their seats, but it wasn't anything noticeable. "If you say so, you weirdo," Jeremy teased, although a smaller version of the smile Ryan was after could be seen. 

Their conversation then delved into random comments and thoughts about the game and it's elements, and they went on with their filming. They were still going when the streaming room door opened and the others walked back in.

"It's dark as hell in here, what're you guys doing?" Michael questioned, walking up behind them to see the screen. He leaned forward so that his face could be seen on the camera, and gave a small wave. 

"Uh, what was it Ryan? Good Friend Gamers?" Jeremy asked cheerily, getting a snort of laughter out of Michael. 

"It's a work in progress," Ryan responded with a grin of equal measure. 

Gavin walked over then, and suddenly the facecam was looking a bit crowded. "what game is that?"

"It was," Ryan began, pausing to think because it had honestly slipped his mind. "The Dark Is Filled With Demons? Something like that?" Jeremey nodded along though, so he assumed that he had been correct.

"It doesn't look like it's very scary."

"Oh, it's not," Jeremy agreed. 

"So you both just decided to sit in the dark and play a shit game together? That's so cute, it could almost be a date," Michael teased.

"Well, I am buying him lunch later."

"You're buying all of us lunch, Ryan." 

"Well, you were busy with Gavin. We'll have to have our scary game date another time."

"What about us? Are we gonna have a date too?" the British man asked, sounding far too eager, and Ryan couldn't hep but to chuckle at his tone.

"Oh, you want one too? Alright. Dates for everyone then. I expect snacks." Ryan had been so involved in the joke and laughter coming from the two men that he hadn't eve noticed how Jeremy had gone quiet. 

Ryan looked over to see how the man was doing, but instead of speaking, his eyes widened. Although, he brushed off the expression so that it hopefully wouldn't register on camera. Jeremy's hair was darker than he'd ever seen it before. It had gone past brown, and was settling into something that looked almost black. His jaw was also hard set, his expression blank. "What's up, Lil' J?" he asked quietly, feeling a bit concerned. Normally, he noticed every little change in the man's hair, but he'd never seen it go this dark before. 

"Huh?" was the response, as Jeremy seemed to suddenly snap out of it. "Oh, no, it's nothing. Don't worry about it," he said, immediately brushing off the question, diving back into the game and talking rapidly about the funny way his character walked. Ryan didn't pester him about it but the dark color stayed for a while before it eventually faded. He thought though, that maybe it would be better to ask when they were alone. 

And he _would_ ask, because with his jaw set as tight as it had been, black couldn't represent any good emotions for Jeremy. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The recording ended well, even if they had hit an uncomfortable patch around the time Michael and Gavin had popped in. Jeremy would have liked to say he didn't know what had gone wrong, but of course he did. Ryan never failed to notice a shift in hair color, and even in the darkness of the room, his emotional change hadn't been ignored.

He knew that his hair had gone far darker than usual. He wished he didn't know why. 

He'd been, well, jealous was the best way to put it. Fortunately, it was an emotion that didn't plague him too often. Jeremy was fortunate, especially as of late. _Unfortunately_ , when it hit, it hit him hard. It was a searing and violent distraction, and it was all too easy to get lost in the feeling. 

The worst part was; Jeremy had no right to feel the way he had. Ryan wasn't his, and getting jealous over a dumb joke was ridiculous. The man obviously wasn't going to go on a date with Michael or Gavin, so getting worked up and jealous over something so improbable was useless. 

His feelings for the older man were curious things that he hadn't properly delved into exploring yet, so he hadn't expected to react so strongly to something that was quite obviously teasing. He knew that he cared for Ryan a lot, but to let his hair go black from a joke was a more intense reaction than he'd ever expected.

Maybe he cared for Ryan more than he'd thought? 

He took a deep breath, attempting to stay relaxed, and refusing to let his thoughts stray. He couldn't let his hair change drastically like it had done before. It'd already taken too long to get the black to go away, even though eventually, the feeling had faded, and his hair had settled into a brown that was only slightly darker than normal. Ryan still cast him furtive glances, but Jeremy promptly ignored them. The man was just concerned, he knew, but he'd rather that they just forget the whole thing happened. 

He'd let his emotions get the best of him, and it had been a mistake. 

The best was to move past it was, of course, to act like it hadn't ever happened, so he strengthened his resolve, and looked over his desk to Ryan. 

"When are you getting us lunch, Rye?" he asked, his voice artificially chipper, although it sounded no different than usual.

At the very least, that seemed to brighten the man's face a bit. Jeremy resolutely ignored the flutter in his chest at the sight. Now wasn't the time for _that_. 

"Are you getting hungry?" Ryan replied, raising one eyebrow.

"A little," he chuckled, nodding along with the words. 

Glancing at the clock, Ryan shrugged. "Well, it's almost lunchtime. I guess I could get it now, if they're hungry too," he said, tilting his head in the direction of the other two men in the office.

"I could eat," Michael said, not looking up from his monitor as Gavin hummed in agreement. 

"That settles it then," Jeremy laughed. 

Ryan shook his head in exasperation. "What do you want, then?" he asked with a sigh, and scribbled down the orders he was given. When Jeremy was turned to, he hesitated for a moment.

"Can I go with you?" he asked, voice a bit quiet. It was a normal question, and he was sure that Ryan would likely appreciate the help since he'd be picking up multiple orders. But, it somehow seemed like a strange request when Jeremy factored in the emotions that he couldn't seem to control. He didn't think his hair was going grey though, which he was thankful for. He didn't need Ryan knowing anything about his nerves. 

"Sure, come along," the man replied with a light, teasing grin as he stood from his chair. 

Jeremy hopped up, thankful that his request had been accepted, even though he'd known that it most likely would have been. Today was apparently his lucky day, considering the amount of time he was able to spend with Ryan. 

He followed after the man out into the parking lot and towards his car. Ryan took his place at the driver's seat, and Jeremy didn't hesitate before jumping into the passenger side. "To Torchy's," he cheered lightly, grinning at the man next to him.

Ryan chuckled, glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes as he drove out of the parking lot. "To Torchy's," he agreed.

~~~~~~~~~~

The drive was relatively silent, but Jeremy didn't mind that too much. It didn't feel awkward, and was in fact rather comfortable. Ryan's presence was a familiar one, and the quiet peace was something he unabashedly took pleasure in. The older man, at least, seemed to feel something relatively similar, since he didn't attempt to chat. 

Jeremy had been afraid that Ryan would bring up the hair color change from earlier, but surprisingly, he didn't. Perhaps he was waiting for a more opportune moment, but what time was better than when they were stuck together in a moving vehicle?

He almost wanted to scoff at the thought; it was completely ridiculous. Ryan was far too kind to corner anyone like that when his concerns weren't anything dire. As curious as the man likely was, Jeremy suspected that he was going to be nice about it and only ask if there was an exit nearby. 

Sighing quietly, he turned his head to the side, staring mindlessly out of the window. Torchy's wasn't too far away, but the lunchtime traffic was making the trip longer than it should have been. 

"Something bothering you?" Ryan questioned, his eyes never leaving the road, even though they were currently stopped at a red light.

"Huh? no, of course not," Jeremy said smoothly, shrugging one shoulder. He was thankful when the man didn't prod any further.

Ryan was an odd mix of overly curious about his hair, and concerned about his well being. Jeremy couldn't tell whose benefit the man was acting in, although it wasn't likely to be in his own. But, that was what tended to bother him. Why would Ryan care so much? 

Jeremy had found himself very invested in the older man as of late, and though he suspected he knew why, he still refused to think too deeply about it until a later time. Ryan though, had seemed to always keep an eye on Jeremy, but never made any sort of move towards anything more. They were good friends, yes, but Jeremy was just that with _everyone_ in the Achievement Hunter office. Yet, _they_ hadn't bothered to learn all of the nuances of his hair. It seemed like too much investment to not actually mean anything.

Why did the man have to go and be so damn nice? 

"Ryan," he said then, surprising himself. It had been an impulse decision to speak up, and now he had to figure out a way to put his thoughts into proper spoken words. 

The man hummed that he was listening, glancing over out of the corners of his eyes.   
He might as well get today's main problem out of the way, although, it lead into a whole other issue. It wasn't exactly a discussion Jeremy felt ready to have, so he instead settled on something far easier, wimping out at the last second. 

"When do you think that video we filmed will go up?"

"Depends on who edits it," was the response, accompanied by a light grin. "Why? You wanna get it out there?"

"Yeah, I mean, it was really fun to do. I don't want it to be sat on and forgotten for a few months." 

"Yeah, it was," Ryan agreed. "I'm sure we can get it up soon," he decided with a light chuckle. "We should film more of those."

"Well, if people like it, then what's the problem?"

Ryan raised one eyebrow. "I don't care how many people like it," he said, voice oddly serious.

A splattering of green colored the tips of his hair, and a light pink settled on the height of his cheeks. "You just want to keep making 'em and putting videos out there, even if they get no views?" Jeremy asked with a laugh.

" _Someone_ has to watch them though, right?"

"Yeah, someone. You're right though, we should make more. People will probably really like it. The game was shit, but easy comedy."

"Like Theater Mode," Ryan hummed, pulling into the parking lot of Torchy's. 

"Exactly," he said with a nod, opening his door and stepping out, lightly slamming it shut behind him. Ryan rounded the car to walk next to him, and Jeremy smiled unnecessarily at a gesture that probably had meant nothing at all. 

The restaurant was unusually quiet when they walked in, especially given the time, but that was to their advantage. Their order was going to be large, and less people meant less waiting around for their food. 

Ryan stepped up to order, reading off of what he'd written on a sticky note before they'd even left the office. Jeremy lingered behind, but made sure to pull out his phone and film Ryan placing the order, and eventually paying for it. "The debt is being paid," he commented with a chuckle, and the man turned around at the sound, giving a wave for the camera. He stopped filming then, decently happy with the short bit of footage. He'd post it on his twitter later once the golf video was released, just so that the fans would know that they _had_ gotten their lunch.

He abandoned Ryan at the counter then, and took a seat at one of the nearby tables, leaning his head into his hand. He might have lost focus for a few moments, because suddenly a hand was waving in front of his face, and Ryan was grinning down at him. "Alright there, J?" he teased.

Jeremy scoffed dismissively. "'Course," he grumbled. "How long?"

"Ten or twenty minutes," Ryan replied, sitting down at the other side of the table, facing Jeremy. "I told Michael, so hopefully they won't get too impatient."

"We can only hope," he chuckled.

They sat in silence then, and Jeremy focused on his phone again to scroll through twitter. He occasionally turned the screen towards the other man to showcase a piece of fanart that he particularly liked, pleased when Ryan hummed approval at any of them. 

The older man, for his part, simply took to looking around the restaurant as they waited. Jeremy chuckled to himself at the realization that Ryan was people watching. 

Eventually though, he spoke up, and his tone was a cautious one. It made it obvious what he was going to bring up. "Hey, Jeremy?"

"What's up?" he responded, his voice normal, but worries running through his head. He didn't know how to explain the jealous feeling his hair had represented without explaining to Ryan that he was at least somewhat interested in him. He couldn't exactly lie and say it was for a different emotion either. The man was so observant, he likely knew almost all of them by now. 

"When we were filming that video today, your hair got really dark, right?" a quiet murmur of agreement was all it took for him to continue on. "I don't think I've really ever seen it like that before. What's it mean?" 

Shit, why did he have to keep his hair cut so short? He couldn't see what hue the strands were, but he got the uncomfortable feeling that they were shifting grey. "I dunno," he muttered with a shrug. "The game was pretty bad, I guess I was just super bored or something." An awful excuse. He'd been joking around and laughing so much the entire time, there was no way in hell he would have been bored.

Ryan stared for a few moments, and Jeremy could see the disbelief in his gaze. But, finally, with a small sigh, he nodded. "Alright, I was just curious." He obviously hadn't believed the lie, but Jeremy was thankful that his wishes to leave it alone were being respected. 

Their order was called out then, and he relaxed as Ryan stood to retrieve it. He followed behind the other man, taking one of the bags before leading the way to the door. "Thanks Ryan. For buying," he said, voice quiet but words genuine. It was a silent apology for not telling the truth.

The man looked towards him, an eyebrow raised in surprise, but grinning nonetheless. "Well, I did say I would. I lost, after all," he chuckled. "But you're welcome. I don't really mind." 

"You didn't have to make the bet in the first place," he chastised, humor in his tone.

"Maybe, but I wanted to," Ryan hummed as they approached the car, his grin morphing into one that represented an emotion that Jeremy couldn't exactly recognize. It looked... like the man was trying to be teasing, but it somehow just appeared sad instead. He found himself staring in surprise, even after Ryan ducked into the driver's seat. 

"Why would you want to, though?" he asked, getting inside and taking both of the large bags, placing them into the backseat. He'd already asked earlier, but felt like the answer he'd received hadn't been satisfactory. 

"Why not? It's something nice to do, right?" he asked with a small chuckle. "I wanted to be nice to you."

"To me?" Jeremy asked, mind hitched on that last word. It wasn't like he was the only person Ryan had agreed to buy food for. Unfortunately, he didn't get a proper response. Just a simple hum that didn't really tell him anything at all. 

The subject was quick to change then, as Ryan delved into a conversation about an achievement he was struggling to get. Jeremy himself had gotten it, but he relayed his own struggles to the other man, and they didn't go back to discussing any strange random acts of kindness as they drove back to the office. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Gavin was the first to whoop in excitement when they walked back in, carrying with them the two very large bags of food. They were dropped unceremoniously onto the couch, and the orders dished out by Ryan and Michael.

With Geoff out of the office, Jeremy made the decision to occupy his seat as they ate their lunch. When Ryan finally got his own meal and moved to his desk, he offered a curious look about his new neighbor, but didn't vocalize any argument, instead flashing a small smile before he sat down. 

 Their meal went on in a comfortable silence, with a bit of chattering here and there between them.

"Jeremy, you've got your own desk," Gavin said suddenly, after a particularly long lull in the conversation. He might have just noticed, although Jeremy had no way to be sure.

"Yeah?" he asked, fully aware already. "But I'm sitting here for now." 

"He wants to be close to Ryan," Michael laughed, shrugging one of his shoulders as he casually took a bite out of his taco. 

The older man's response was a simple chuckle, and a glance to his side made it look to Jeremy as though he didn't want to be involved in this conversation at all. He wasn't too sure if that made him feel bad or not. 

"He did buy me food."

"Oh, the way to your heart," Michael continued to tease.

"Is it?" Ryan questioned, finally looking up and glancing at Jeremy, curiosity in his gaze. 

He blinked, unsure of how to respond for a few moments. "I guess? One of the ways, at least," he said, laughing a little nervously. 

"On the right track, then," Ryan hummed before turning back to his monitor, as if he hadn't said something that would leave Jeremy's mouth gaping in surprise. 

Michael let out a low whistle, and Gavin broke out into laughter. Then, everyone simply dropped it, going back to their own things as if nothing had happened at all. He supposed that maybe it hadn't. It had likely all been another joke, and nothing to think too deeply on. But, Jeremy's stomach was rolling with an energy of worry and slight embarrassment. 

And, if anyone was looking at his hair then, they would have noticed the pale pink that curled up through the nervous grey.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baaaack! Hello again to everyone who was waiting for forever as I didn't update this. I apologize.   
> Hopefully this chapter is good and makes up for it? Maybe? 
> 
> Side note: Achievement Hunter, I demand credit for Battle Buddies. The name is a bit different, but c'mon. Jk jk lol That name isn't nearly as great as Good Friend Gamers c;
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Jeremy woke up the next morning with his mood in a pretty good place. Unfortunately, as his morning wore on through it's daily routine, his stomach began flipping with an uncomfortably nervous energy. It left him feeling oddly out of place. He'd never been nervous to go to work before. Achievement Hunter was one of the best things that had ever happened to him, and for it to make him uncomfortable was practically unthinkable. 

It was unthinkable, and yet his hair was undeniably grey - tinged lightly with lilac - as he made the drive to work. He'd tried everything he could think of to get the colors to change, including an impromptu cuddling session with his cat. However, nothing had worked, and he was forced into his car with a beanie tugged snugly over his head. 

He practically _never_ went to work with his hair covered, dammit. They would all immediately notice.

No, that probably wasn't right. They might all see something was off eventually, but there was only one person in the office who was certain to take note right away. 

_Ryan_. 

Ryan never missed anything when it came to Jeremy's hair. Normally, he wouldn't mind such a thing, and would in fact be glad for it. Today though, and any time the color revealed something less than positive, he was reluctant to see the man who knew every shade's meaning. 

He felt like his nerves had increased tenfold by the time he actually made it to the office, and he shuffled quietly inside, as if doing so would make it more difficult for anyone to notice him. 

Not surprisingly, he wasn't one of the first to arrive. Michael, Geoff, and Jack were all already at their desks, and Ryan was bending down to rummage through the mini fridge. _Damn._ He'd have to walk by him to get to his desk. 

He'd hoped to move through the room quickly and quietly, unusually timid compared to his usual demeanor, but Michael turned to greet him, immediately ruining _that_ plan. 

It garnered Ryan's attention as well, and he turned to look Jeremy's way, as if to make sure that he was actually there. 

He noticed. Jeremy could tell, simply by watching the man's eyes, that they had lingered on the beanie for just a little too long. He _knew_ , dammit. Still, Ryan didn't comment, and only offered a friendly smile. 

"Morning, Jeremy," he hummed, finally standing up straight, a diet coke in one hand.

"Ah, yeah. Morning, Ry." 

"Something wrong?" he asked gently, popping open the can in his hand as he waited for an answer.

Jeremy shook his head immediately, and used one hand to wave off the question. "Nah, nothing. Just tired," he said, and put in extra effort to make himself sound cheerier than before. He refused let Ryan know that he was feeling off today. He hadn't even figured out a good reason _why_ he was so nervous, so he certainly wasn't going to let the man worry for nothing. 

Ryan nodded slowly, but Jeremy was suspicious that he hadn't believed the excuse. "Uh, Where's Gavin? Is he coming in today?" he asked, attempting to change to subject as casually as possible. 

"Yeah, later," Michael replied, not looking up from his monitor screen. "He had some... I dunno, slow mo shit going on, or something."

"Ah, alright," he said, nodding as he pulled out his chair and sat down, leaving Ryan standing alone. He immediately felt bad, his shoulders subconsciously tensing from guilt, but he pushed on. "How was the plane trip?" he questioned next, shifting his attention to the other two men in the room.

The simultaneous groans from Geoff and Jack were answer enough, and Jeremy grinned wickedly at them. 

In the middle of his act, he caught eyes with Ryan again, who had eventually begun to move towards his own desk. He looked... _hurt_ , and immediately Jeremy's chest stung with a pain that was purely emotional, but that didn't hurt any less than if it had been _real_.

It took him by surprise in that moment, and suddenly, he _knew_. He knew the reasoning behind the nerves that plagued him, and honestly, he couldn't believe he hadn't figured it out sooner. 

Of course his feelings would finally start catching up and affecting him now. Ryan had just _needed_ to go and say something suggestive while they'd been eating lunch, and now his poor heart couldn't take it. 

_'On the right track, then'_ he'd said. Jeremy didn't know what to do with that! Had he just been joking, or was Ryan seriously looking for something romantic? 

He didn't think he'd be able to take that kind of teasing forever, especially not when his own feelings were apparently so strong. But, he was too afraid to even approach the subject. There was no way he could just _ask_ about it!

He felt as though he was now caught in some sort of awkward limbo. Jeremy wanted nothing more than to push forward in their... _relationship_ , but he was too scared to act. There was no way he could risk their friendship over something like that, just in case it happened to actually be a joke. 

It wasn't worth it. Being friends with Ryan was good enough. 

He tugged the beanie a little bit tighter over his head, and forced himself to focus on his screen, refusing to even look up towards the others in the room. 

He was fine. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The pace of the day quickly picked up through the remainder of the morning, and Jeremy distracted himself from any problems by immersing his mind in the world of video games. It worked decently well, as the entire office was occupied with filming videos.

It wasn't until later in the afternoon that they finally were allowed a substantial break where they could get some lunch. And, slowly, as the personality he embodied for the camera faded away, his heart began flipping nervously again. 

Subconsciously, he tugged on the beanie again, and looked over in Ryan's direction. To his surprise, the man was already looking his way, and Jeremy swallowed thickly. He got the feeling that he'd been caught. 

The hat was too much of a dead giveaway that he was hiding something, and they both knew it.

Jeremy couldn't read much from Ryan's expression, but it looked as though the man was thinking very hard about something. Unable to decipher more, he pulled his gaze away.

"Hey, Trevor didn't take care of lunch, so we're gonna go get something. Anybody wanna come?" Michael - who was standing by the office door with Gavin and Lindsay - suddenly asked. 

He listened as, one by one, the others in the room all declined, and he was left to flounder for an answer. He _was_ hungry, but a small, nagging part of himself begged to stay with Ryan. 

He felt like some teenager with a crush, and had to make an effort to not frown at himself, for fear of looking rude for no reason. 

"Jeremy?" the waiting group prompted, and he didn't waste any more time before sighing and nodding. 

"Yeah, I'll go," he mumbled, standing from his desk. He didn't look behind as he followed them out the door, and listened to their conversation without imputing much into it himself. It didn't really have anything to do with him, anyway.

"You didn't want to stay and eat with Ryan, Lil J?" Gavin asked, once they'd made it to the parking lot, and Jeremy heard the grin in his voice more than he saw it on the man's face.

"What?" he asked, caught off guard by the question. It wasn't like he went to eat lunch with Ryan everyday or something. 

"You just seemed really happy to sit next to him yesterday," he shrugged. "Ryan looked like he'd wanted you to stay."

Jeremy practically spluttered in shock. "I think you're imagining things," he grumbled, attempting to regain his composure. 

"Yeah, Gavin," Michael laughed, "This isn't _Tumblr_." The joke earned a giggle from Lindsay, and a grimace from Jeremy. 

"Sod off, Michael, you know it's true." 

"I don't. Ryan's looked like that almost all day."

Blinking in confusion, Jeremy frowned. "Looked like what?"

Michael hummed. "He's just been quiet, dude. Like something's bothering him. Fuck if I know what, though."

"Huh. I didn't really notice," he said quietly, suddenly wanting to move on from the conversation. He usually paid enough attention to Ryan, that the fact that he didn't notice something so off from normal was jarring. 

Of course, he had been purposefully focusing on other things, so it was his own fault he hadn't seen it. But, it was still weird to hear about it from someone else, especially since it had apparently been so noticeable. 

What was bothering the man, then? Was it his own fault, because he'd pushed away during their short conversation that morning? Yes, Ryan had looked hurt then, but surely it wouldn't bother him all day? It wasn't as though Jeremy had ignored him while they were filming or anything. 

Still, he couldn't ignore the feeling in his chest that told him he was to blame. As the group made their way to a local pizza place - the type of food that had been decided with no dispute from Jeremy - he considered the idea that he probably should have just stayed back at the office.

He'd _wanted_ to, but was too afraid of his own emotions, and how open he was always forced to be with them. Even covering his hair was revealing in it's own way. Lying to Ryan was apparently useless anyway, so he shouldn't have even bothered. 

Besides, he trusted the man. _Liked_ him. Even if he couldn't outright stay that, he could at least say _something_.

He would say something. He'd find the time to pull Ryan aside and apologize for pushing him away and sort of ignoring him all day. It was the least he could do. 

He would try damn hard to keep the beanie on, and away from any talk about his hair color, though.

With the weight of that decision off of his shoulders, Jeremy visibly lightened, and engaged more heavily in the conversation. He was less worried, and hopeful that he would be able to easily sort things out with Ryan so that they could get back to normal. They understood one another pretty well, after all. 

~~~~~~~~~~

After he'd gotten back to a more usual mood, Jeremy had enjoyed the chance to just relax at lunch with his coworkers. Ryan had still been there, at the back of his mind, but wasn't taking up all of his thoughts anymore.

Surely, the grey in his hair had faded away as well. He hadn't had any way to check and be sure, though. He made sure that the beanie remained firmly in place, just in case there had not been any change. 

He wasn't sure if Michael, Gavin, or Lindsay had noticed the oddity about his attire, but if they had, they didn't mention it.

"Jeremy, how much to eat another pizza?" Gavin asked, in that tone he always used whenever he wanted to try to get somebody to do something stupid.

"A whole pizza? By myself?" he replied, eyebrows raised. "Wouldn't do it."

"What? Why not?" Gavin sounded shocked, causing Michael and Lindsay to laugh at the reaction.

"Because! I ate too much already. No way I could eat another pizza. Absolutely not," he insisted, resisting the urge to groan uncomfortably at the thought. He really had eaten a lot already, and had no plans to get sick today. 

"Gavin, stop trying to kill Jeremy," Michael said with a chuckle, shaking his head at them as he stood up from their table at the small restaurant. "Let's go or we'll never get back to work."

They all hummed in agreement, and as they walked out, Jeremy stuffed a few dollars in the jar sitting on the service counter. 

Fortunately, they made it back with ample time remaining, despite the bit of traffic that they'd run into. 

Unfortunately, Jeremy's stomach was flipping uncomfortably, and it _wasn't_ from the pizza he'd stuffed himself with just prior. He shuffled into the office last, and immediately glanced around for Ryan. 

There he was, sitting at his desk, headphones on and not paying much attention at all to the room around him. Had he even noticed their return?

"Hey guys. How was lunch?" Jack asked, looking up from his own monitor and effectively catching the attention of the man next to him. 

Jeremy tuned out Michael's answer of "Fucking fantastic," as he walked around the row of desks to the other side. Somehow - and maybe it was some sort of fate - Geoff was absent from his chair again. 

Ryan pulled one side of the headphones away from his ear, and watched Jeremy as he approached. "Hey, Jeremy."

"Hi, Ryan," he hummed, sitting down in the empty chair that Geoff had so graciously provided, whether he was aware of it or not. He spared a glance at the man's screen, noting that he was scrolling through twitter. Ryan really used it more that his amount of posts revealed. 

"What's up?"

He was silent for a moment, and looked around the room. It wasn't as though anything he was going to say was a major secret, but it was a bit private, and he felt nervous talking about it in front of everyone else. Thankfully though, Michael was chatting with Lindsay, and Jack had gone back to whatever he'd been doing before they had come back. Jeremy couldn't be sure _what_ Gavin was doing, but chose to pay him no mind and hope that he wasn't paying any attention.

"I wanted to, uh, apologize for this morning," he said, keeping his voice moderately low - a volume that kept the conversation just between them. 

Ryan raised an eyebrow. "Apologize?" 

"Yeah," he nodded, tugging lightly on the hat again. He probably should have stopped himself from bringing attention to it, but Ryan had figured out it's purpose already anyways, so fuck it. "I kinda ignored you and was rude as fuck so, I'm sorry." 

Ryan blinked for a moment, seeming surprised, before he gave a small grin. "Don't worry about it."

"You're sure?"

He hummed. "It's fine. But," he paused before continuing, like he was figuring out was he was going to say, and Jeremy suddenly got worried. "But if something's bothering you, you can tell me, okay? If you want, I mean." He was obviously trying very had to not outright admit what he was really talking about, but Jeremy understood immediately. 

"Thanks, Ry," he said, smiling softly. "I'm fine though, don't worry." 

"If you're sure," the main said, his tone betraying his disbelief, but Jeremy nodded. 

"Don't you have your own fucking desk?" a confused voice from the doorway asked, and he and Ryan both looked up in surprise. After all, there was only one person in the room who was in the wrong place. 

"You weren't using it," Jeremy replied, finding himself at a loss for anything better to say. 

"Well, I am now," Geoff huffed, and although he could tell that the man wasn't really angry, he got up anyway. They passed by each other on the way to opposite sides of the room, and Jeremy gave Geoff a proper greeting, laughing lightly. 

He settled himself at his own desk, but his smile faded slightly when he glanced over at Michael and Gavin, who were both looking at him strangely. "What?" he asked, his arms paused midway through putting on his headphones. 

"You were sitting next to Ryan again," Gavin teased, raising and lowering his eyebrows in a suggestive manner. Jeremy prayed that the man mentioned was _not_ listening, and promptly frowned at the two.

"So?" he grumbled. 

"No reason."

"Ugh," he huffed, quite eloquently, and turned his attention to the screen in front of him. He didn't have time to play that 'you like him' game with Gavin, and now apparently Michael. Whether it was true or not didn't matter. _They_ didn't need to know shit about it. 

Really, he was becoming frustrated with the whole situation. He was still confused by his own feelings, didn't know what to say to Ryan, and really didn't want to be bothered by anyone else about it. The fact that his hair betrayed his feelings about it every single day what just a whole other problem. 

At least an annoyed maroon was an easier color to explain then grey. Or pink. 

Gazing over the monitors at Ryan, who was laughing gently - beautifully -  at something Geoff had said, he realized that he was probably beginning to show those two colors more than he ever had before. 

The worst thing was; light pink was a color the man had never seen before. If he saw it, and realized what it meant, then Jeremy was screwed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy is sappy when in love.  
> To be honest though, it's been a long time since I've worked on this fic, so hopefully it still flows properly and doesn't read as too disjointed?   
> ~~Did I rush to finish this because of Jeremy's most recent hairstyle? Yes I did. And no, baldness does not represent any emotion in this fic lmao~~   
>  But c'mon. It doesn't look too bad. Be nice to the man c':


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh,, here? Have this chapter lol  
> I spent all weekend watching extra life and writing this, so hopefully it's good.  
> As always, please enjoy, and leave kudos and comments if you did! I appreciate them immensely. <3

Jeremy spent the next week fighting an almost constant frustration that revolved around both his hair, and the emotions that caused it to change constantly. He'd never really had a problem with it before now, either. Generally he considered himself to be a pretty laid-back and open guy, but now with _Ryan_ being thrown into the picture, he didn't want _anybody_ to see his hair.

It always seemed to take on some shade of grey or pink whenever he was around the man. Before, talking to Ryan would have made the strands go green, but that was before he'd figured out his ... _feelings_. Now, he was plagued by a baby pink that wouldn't fucking leave. He'd taken to constantly wearing beanies around the office in an effort to conceal the colors.

Ryan, he knew, had noticed immediately. It had gotten to the point now though, where he was pretty sure the others had begun to see that something was wrong too. He felt like he was betraying them all somehow. Like, he'd trusted them all with his hair and the emotions, and was now suddenly revoking it without explanation. 

Ryan surely felt the worst of it. Jeremy even worried that the man thought it was his fault. After all, he had been the one to take the most notice of the color changes. Maybe he thought that Jeremy disliked that for some reason.

It was all so damn frustrating that it made his head spin, dammit. He drove to work that morning with a headache already brewing. 

Ryan hadn't brought the beanie up to him yet, as surprising as that was, and Jeremy was afraid every morning that that day would be _the day_. 

He was the last one to the office that morning, and he immediately found his way to his chair, focusing his attention on his monitor screen. 

"Morning, Jeremy," Ryan greeted him, just like he did every day.

Despite the frustration he'd been feeling lately, Jeremy couldn't ever bring himself to direct any of that at Ryan - it wasn't the man's fault anyway - so he looked up over his computer and smiled. "Hey, Ry."

"How was your night?"

"Good. Did some streaming. You did too, right? Someone in my chat mentioned that you were online." Not like he wouldn't have known anyway, though. He'd seen the tweet. 

"Mmhm," the man hummed in affirmation. "It's funny, they told me you were streaming, too. Said you were getting drunk again."

"Oh please, Ryan. I always get drunk on stream," he laughed. "Were you doing something with Meg?"  _Don't turn black, stupid hair._ At least nobody could see it if it did.

"Nah. I think she was doing patreon stuff? I don't really know." 

"Oh, that's too bad."

Ryan smiled. "She'll stream again eventually," he chuckled. "So what were you playing? PUBG?"

"Yup," he nodded. Had Ryan seen his tweet, or was he just really that predictable? "Still going after that chicken dinner." 

"Me too," Ryan replied, grinning.

"Don't you guys always stream that? You still haven't won yet?" Geoff suddenly cut in, interrupting their conversation.

"It's hard, Geoff!" Jeremy protested. 

"Maybe if you worked together you'd be better at it," he said, teasing evident in his tone. After all, they'd managed to win twice as a team during recordings for Git Gud. 

"Maybe," Ryan hummed, leaving it at that. 

Jeremy dropped the conversation as well, instead focusing on his computer screen, scrolling through emails and checking out the release schedule to see what videos were coming out that day. His eyes widened slightly when he noticed that his and Ryan's dumb horror game video was to be released that day.

The Good Friend Gamers were finally going to be making their appearance. He chuckled lightly when he noticed that that name had but put into the title of the video with (Working Name) next to it.

Eagerly, he clicked on the video link. There were still a few hours left until it was available to watch, but some comments had already begun to flood in. He was shocked at how many were basically just people screaming in excitement at the fact that just the two of them had done a video together. It made him smile a bit, and he turned his attention back to Ryan.

"Hey, did you see our video was going to go up today?"

"I did. Did you see the title?"

Laughing, Jeremy nodded. "I did," he returned. "People seem really excited for it."

"They do?"

"Yeah, there's already a bunch of comments on it."

"Ah, well, see? Now we do have a reason to film more," Ryan replied, looking at him with a grin. 

It was such a nice smile that he found himself nodding without even thinking. "You're right." Jeremy definitely did want to do some more filming with the man. Lately, they've been focusing a lot on six player games, especially GTA and Minecraft, so even Gavin and Michael hadn't had a lot of time to do Play Pals.

They would need to make time.

He was dragged from his thoughts when Geoff declared that they needed to actually get to work, and his mind immediately went into video mode. He didn't let himself get distracted from his personal problems that way. 

Achievement Hunter found itself very busy lately, and this day was no different. This time, they weren't really free from filming until _after_ lunch, since they'd been delivered pizza and shamelessly devoured it in the middle of a recording.

By the time the end of the day came around, they'd barely done anything besides film. Jeremy couldn't say that he minded, though. He honestly did enjoy his job more than he ever could have hoped. It was a bit draining though, having to constantly be funny and energetic. 

He could tell that the others felt similarly. Michael was already getting ready to leave with both Lindsay and Gavin - apparently they were dropping him off at his house. Jack and Geoff were shutting down their computers, and Ryan wasn't even in the office anymore.

Well, that was a little strange. Jeremy knew he hadn't left, since his phone still remained on his desk, but it was odd for the man to wander around aimlessly much, especially at the end of the day.  

"Where'd Ryan go?" he asked Jack, who was walking by on his way towards the door.

"Uh, I don't know," he replied with a shrug. "Maybe he's in the other office?"

Ah, with the editors and other AH employees. Jeremy had no idea why he would be there, but it was a good idea. "Thanks Jack." he hummed, following the man on his way out the door. When Jack turned to head for the exit, Jeremy bid him a good night before turning the other way.

The editor's office was on the other side of their wall, and Jeremy leaned his head inside. "There you are," he said, triumphant. 

Ryan was standing behind Trevor's chair, looking at something the other man was showing him on his computer. At the sound of Jeremy's voice, he turned his head to look, and offered a small smile. "Hey, Jeremy."

He walked inside, stopping next to the other. "I was wondering where you ran off to," he chuckled. "Everyone's leaving."

"Oh, are they? Okay. Trevor wanted me to see the views on our video so far," he said, explaining his sudden disappearance. 

Oh yeah? How's it doing?"

"It's good," Trevor replied, and Jeremy leaned closer to see the numbers. 

"Wow," he breathed, standing up straight again. 

"Yeah, you two are pretty darn popular, I guess. It hasn't even been out a full day yet."

Honestly, Jeremy was surprised. The only videos that did remotely that well so quickly were Sky Factory. Perhaps it was just because it was such an out of the blue video that so many people decided to watch, but the comments were almost all extremely positive. Maybe Trevor was right. 

"Now we really will have to film more," Ryan said.

"And come up with a better name," Jeremy agreed. "Thanks, Trevor," he murmured, turning to take his leave then.

Ryan followed after him, and they walked together back towards their own office. It was empty when they got there, but at least whoever had been the last out left the lights on for them. Jeremy hadn't even shut off his computer yet, and he went to do that quickly while the other man gathered up his own things. 

Once he was finished, he turned towards the door to leave. "I'll see you tomorrow, Ryan."

"Jeremy?" the other man asked suddenly, before he could walk through the door, and he barely stopped himself from groaning out loud. He'd known this was coming. Whatever Ryan was about to say, it was definitely going to be about his hair. There was no way, with how caring he was, that the man was going to let the damn beanie go unmentioned forever. 

Slowly, nervously, he turned back around. "Yeah?" he asked, doing his best to make sure his voice didn't sound strained. 

He seemed hesitant about what exactly he was going to say, and that made Jeremy feel, even if only slightly, better. At least they would both have somewhat of a difficult time with this conversation. "Have you been ... okay lately?"

"Okay?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yeah. It's just that you never used to cover your hair all day like this, so I was wondering if everything's been alright?" 

Jeremy was silent for a moment, but then he forced on a smile. "I'm fine, Ryan," he said, attempting for a reassuring tone.

"Are you?" the man asked, sounding slightly suspicious. 

"Yup. No problems here. Thanks for asking, though," he said, saluting the man as he turned back towards the door, ready to walk out once again. It felt ... rude. Again. He was ignoring Ryan because he couldn't deal with his own problems. Again. He barely made it to the door before he spun sharply on his heels. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to sound like that..."

Ryan shook his head, waving one hand dismissively. "It's fine." 

Jeremy knew that it wasn't. Maybe he _was_ struggling to act a little less emotionally constipated, but he could tell that Ryan was worried about him. He cared too, and the man deserved some sort of proper answer.

They were adults, dammit. They could have a conversation. It wasn't like his problem right now was attempting to hide his major crush from the very man he was talking to, or anything. 

"I've just been annoyed by it," he sighed.

"It?" Ryan prompted, raising an eyebrow. "Your hair?"

"Yeah," he nodded, and was quiet for a moment before continuing; "I'm just trying to figure some stuff out right now, and it's hard to do when it tells everyone what I'm thinking all the time." That was a pretty roundabout explanation, but it hit all the basics, and Jeremy was pretty sure that it would suffice.

"Do you want to ... talk about it? I could help you think through things?"

Jeremy chuckled lightly, but shook his head. He couldn't talk about it with Ryan. He wasn't even sure the man liked him that way, and was currently in no mood to put himself out there and ask. "Don't worry about it, I can handle this. I've just been mad about the whole thing," he grumbled, rubbing nervously at the back of his neck. 

Ryan nodded slowly, and Jeremy wondered if he properly understood how he felt, or was just attempting to. "Well, if you ever want to use just your words to explain the problem, I'll listen."

He grinned, despite himself. "Just use my words?"

"Yeah. No 'secret revealing hair' involved," the man shrugged.

Jeremy had never thought about that. Of course he voiced his thoughts and opinions all the time - that was basically his job. But, anytime he was visible, besides podcasts, his hair had never been covered. It had always been there to add extra depth and meaning to his words. Maybe not everyone understood all the colors, but they'd been _there_. Talk without them? that was an interesting idea. 

He never thought he had relied on them before, but maybe he did. After all, having someone around all the time who knew what the colors meant was the main source of his problem right now. If he didn't have to worry about his hair turning pink and revealing everything, dealing with the fact that he liked Ryan wouldn't be so difficult. 

"Huh. Maybe I will," he hummed in consideration.

"Well, just let me know."

Jeremy appreciated the gesture. "Of course. I'll see ya' later, Ryan. And thanks," he smiled, waving one hand as he turned to walk out the office once again. He felt, even if only slightly, better. He'd been worried that the man would feel at fault or something for Jeremy covering his hair, but that didn't seem to be the case. Not so far, at least. 

The worry still bugged at him though, and he tugged the beanie down tighter over his head as he walked through the parking lot towards his car. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Ryan couldn't say that he was shocked to hear Jeremy turn down his offer to talk about whatever was bothering him. No matter how open and free flowing the man was with information whenever he was happy, it was the exact opposite when he felt down. Ryan had the suspicion that he didn't want to bother others, but that was just a guess. 

He sighed, and watched the man leave as he became the only one left in the office. He supposed that it was progress, at least. He had gotten _something_ of an explanation out of Jeremy. Something definitely was bothering him. Ryan just hadn't been able to figure out what exactly it was. 

He felt crazy. Obsessed. After his own stream ended last night, he'd gone back to check out Jeremy's. He'd even watched the beginning, before the man had gotten too drunk. 

And, the weird thing was, the man hadn't been nearly as protective of his hair then. Sure, he'd still been wearing the beanie from earlier in the day, but he hadn't seemed as worried about it. At one point, it had even gotten too loose and left some strands visible, but Jeremy had left it that way until the end of the round he'd been playing.

If he'd been in the office, he would have immediately stopped what he was doing in order to fix it.

Ryan couldn't shake the idea that this was somehow his fault. Perhaps he'd gotten too involved in the meaning of the colors, and Jeremy was bothered by it? He had said that he didn't like how his hair revealed every single emotion when he was trying to think through something. Maybe he was worried that Ryan was somehow attempting to intrude on private matters?

Of course, that had never been his intention. Yes, he was fascinated by the man's hair, but he'd never wanted to come across as undermining his trust or using his hair unfairly. He'd only gotten so invested because of Jeremy himself.

And that, unfortunately, was a fact he hadn't realized until recently. At first it _had_ just been the hair. Who wouldn't take at least some manner of interest in something like that? It was unusual and _cool_. 

But, as time went on, Ryan realized that his fascination was more with the man himself. Jeremy was great, in every sense of the word. Sure, it was weird that he couldn't see the shift in hair color right now, but rather than feeling upset about that, he was worried because of how out of character it was. He was concerned for the man himself. 

Perhaps he should apologize to Jeremy for being so focused on the color shifts all the time. Maybe that would help, if the man realized that he hadn't meant to seem so obsessed with it all. 

He considered calling, or sending a text, but this seemed like something that needed to be done in person. He'd wait until tomorrow, and then find a time when they could just talk. Even if it had to wait until the end of the day again, he _would_ make sure that Jeremy knew he was sorry. 

After all, even if he couldn't force himself to bring up how much he _liked_ the man, he could at least do his best to make sure that their friendship remained properly intact. 

It was later that night, after he'd already eaten dinner and was sitting down on his couch to decide on something to watch that his phone vibrated upon the coffee table. He reached for it, surprised to see Jeremy's name. 

They were pretty close at work, and did occasionally pass time on their days off texting one another, but it was rarer to get a message this late. 

 _'You really helped today,'_ the text read.

Ryan furrowed his brows. He helped? He supposed that he had offered to listen, and he had meant it of course, but it didn't seem like Jeremy had thought too much of it. Perhaps he considered the idea more than Ryan believed he would. 

_'I did? I'm glad.'_

_'Yeah, I had no idea what to do about the damn hair, but I feel better about it now.'_

_'I didn't do that much,'_ he writes, a small grin working it's way onto his face. He felt good, knowing that Jeremy had benefited from his words, even a little bit. He wondered though, exactly what the man was going to do, and he sent his question.

Unfortunately, he didn't get a response. He stayed up late catching up on old episodes he'd missed out on, yet his phone remained silent. It was with a disappointed sigh that he finally got ready for bed. 

He would see Jeremy at work tomorrow. Surely he could wait just a few hours to ask in person. 

~~~~~~~~~~

He had the great plan that morning that he'd arrive early and wait for Jeremy so that he could ask his question and give the apology he'd been planning before the day got started, but that didn't exactly turn out how he planned.

The younger man ended up being late, and Ryan got dragged into an impromptu meeting with Geoff and Michael about Heroes and Halfwits, anyway. By the time Jeremy entered the office - his beanie still in place, just like yesterday - it was too late to have anything that resembled a private conversation. 

Especially since Gavin seemed to be in a mood to mess around and bother people today. There was no way Ryan would get his chance until that afternoon, at least. And, likely not even then, either.

He went about his day a bit more grumpy than usual, but otherwise, things were normal. Well, as normal as they had been in past days. Ryan made multiple attempts to pull Jeremy away from the rest of the office, but it was becoming evident that he wasn't quite capable of doing that. Something always managed to come up and interrupt. He supposed he should have expected it, though. They've all been so busy lately, there was no way they had time for things like this. 

How they found time to film dumb shenanigans, he had no idea. Unfortunately, Gavin's mood tended to benefit those types of videos, because he was attempting to convince Michael and Jack both that they should film more with the bowling ball that had already decimated some shelves and a section of their wall. 

Jeremy looked on with amusement as he watched, and Ryan couldn't help but chuckle. They both knew that the two men were easier to convince than they liked to let on. He had no doubts that something else was going to end up ruined today. 

Hopefully it wasn't the carpet again, for Gavin's sake.

"Ryan!," Michael called from across the room. "You want in on this?" He held up the bowling ball, waiting for an answer. To be honest, Ryan hadn't even heard what they finally decided upon doing, so he shook his head.

"Hell no."

"At least come film it. Trevor's not here today," Jeremy said, turning to glance at him with a grin. 

"You're doing this too?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course. Come on."

With an only half reluctant sigh, he followed them all outside. Apparently, whatever they'd decided upon couldn't be done in the office, and Ryan was extremely grateful for that. 

"Wait, shit, I forgot the trampoline," Gavin suddenly exclaimed, when they were only halfway to the door that lead outside. "Here, Ryan, film on this so I can look at it later," he hummed, tossing his own phone and leaving Ryan to scramble and catch it before it fell to the ground. 

Michael watched, and huffed out a breath of irritation. "Fucking idiot. He's gonna break it doing that." Ryan, for his part, was just glad that he _had_ managed to catch it before it dropped.

Jeremy and Jack just seemed humored by the whole situation, and he shook his head at them, feeling a little bit disgruntled. 

"What exactly are you trying to do with the bowling ball?" he asked, as they made their way outside again, not bothering to wait for Gavin.

"We're going to see how high we can make it bounce," Jack supplied.

"Not dangerous at all," Jeremy murmured. It was, in fact, extremely dangerous. How none of them have gotten seriously injured yet, Ryan didn't know.

"Gavin needs to hurry up. It's hot," Michael complained absentmindedly. While it was getting closer to winter, Texas was still feeling the heat at the moment, especially when there were no clouds or wind. 

Eventually though, the man showed up, dragging the trampoline behind him.

"Why didn't you just carry it?" Jack asked with a laugh, only to be faced with protest.

"It's big!"

It definitely wasn't, and Ryan chuckled with the rest of them.

They set up as far away from any buildings and cars that they could in a bit of grass on the side of the parking lot. "This isn't safe at all," Ryan said, hold up Gavin's phone as he recorded the man. He had bravely offered to take the first turn.

"You didn't even explain what we were doing," Jeremy said as he watched, a safe distance away. 

"They'll see," Gavin shouted, before tossing the ball downwards towards the trampoline, and dashing backwards. Fortunately, it bounced forwards, high into the air before coming down with a loud thump.

"Damn," Michael practically whistled. If they'd been in the office, that shot just might have hit something on their ceiling. And, if it hadn't, it definitely would have ruined something on it's way down. 

"Who's next?" Gavin asked, turning around to gaze at them all with a cheeky grin. 

And so they went, each throwing the ball as hard as they could onto the trampoline, Ryan doing his best to film it all. Jeremy even managed to convince him to take his own turn. He didn't do too bad either, considering that he hadn't gotten a change to practice with multiple shots like the rest of them.

And, it had made Jeremy smile, joy evident in his tone as he spoke. "Nice job, Ryan," he cheered as they watched the ball fall to the ground.

Eventually though, it got too hot for them to remain outside, so they slowly made their way back towards the office. Jeremy went first, but Michael, Gavin, and Jack all lingered behind, crowded around Gavin's phone as they watched the footage he'd captured. 

With no reason to stay behind, since he'd been the one filming and had already seen the whole thing, Ryan grabbed the bowling ball and followed after Jeremy, who'd already disappeared inside. He'd leave the trampoline for the other three to take care of. 

Geoff was still absent from the office, as was everyone else except for Jeremy. Ryan smiled upon seeing the man standing behind his desk, but that smile slowly fell until his mouth was hanging open slightly in shock.

It must have really been hot outside, because Jeremy's hair was visible, the beanie in one hand as he ran his other through the strands. Part of Ryan felt relief, because there was the color he'd missed. But, that relief faded away quickly to make room for the confusion. 

It was a color he'd never seen before. The green was still there, but swirled with it in a mess of color was pale pink. It looked ... soft. It was a far gentler color that he was used to seeing on the man. Everything was either vibrant, or dull. It was never like this.

Ryan instantly fell in love with the color, though he couldn't exactly say why. He didn't even know what it meant. 

He realized, very suddenly, that he was just standing there staring. Jeremy hadn't even noticed him yet, and he was just _looking_. Quickly, he turned his gaze to the floor. He knew that the man didn't want people to see his hair anymore, yet Ryan had already taken unfair advantage of those wishes.

Surely, this one color he'd never seen before, was the one Jeremy had wanted to remain hidden. And now he'd see it.

Part of Ryan wanted to just sneak away and pretend he'd never even gone inside the office, but that was too much of a lie. He didn't want to betray Jeremy's trust. He needed to tell the truth, no matter how angry the man would get at him.

He cleared his throat nervously, his eyes trained on his shoes. Ryan heard more than he saw, as Jeremy gasped, and likely turned around to look behind himself.

"Ryan!" he shouted, something like fear laced with anger evident in the way he spit out the name.

"Sorry," he instantly apologized, wincing slightly as he heard Jeremy scoff. "I didn't know you were uh. Sorry."

"Did you see my hair?" He asked, not wasting time or giving Ryan a chance to think out what he wanted to say.

Ryan chanced a glance upwards, only to be met with hard-set eyes. Jeremy had already covered his hair up again, but that wasn't surprising. He swallowed. "Yes." He watched apprehensively as hands ran down a slightly flushed face, but didn't say anything more. 

Surprisingly, neither did Jeremy. Instead, he just pushed his way past Ryan and walked out the office. He was left dumbstruck, and unsure exactly where he stood. Surely Jeremy was angry. Just yesterday he'd explained how much he didn't like his emotions being revealed without consent, and Ryan had already ruined everything. 

He was scared now. What if Jeremy stopped trusting him? He'd thought they were - wanted them to be - getting closer to one another. But now, he'd probably gone and fucked that up. He hadn't even gotten the chance to apologize properly like he'd wanted to last night.

When the others walked in, curious as to where Jeremy had gone, he didn't have an answer for them. The man didn't show up for the rest of the day, either. 

And, so focused Ryan was on whether or not he'd ruined any chance he had with Jeremy, he forgot all about the new color he'd caught a glimpse of.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun dun dun!  
> Things are getting all messed up now.

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea how long this will be, whoops. It's not beta read though. All mistakes are my own fault c;  
> Please let me know if you like it so far <33
> 
> FInd me on my personal tumblr: [Double00Mogar](double00mogar.tumblr.com)  
> or my artsy/writing one: [aykimra](aykimra.tumblr.com)


End file.
